What is L o v e ?
Mutual respect? Mutual understanding? Commitment? Sex?

Love isn't just about 2 person. It includes your friends, your family.

I'm so tired of everything, even school seems so hard.
I don't want to come back to a home that is filled with quarrels.

I just want to forget everything, if I could just lose my memory
lose every promises, lose every friendship, lose every thoughts of anyone.

Just a clean slate.

Some memories are bitter sweet some are sweet, but now
everything is just awful.

I got myself into a hole, that I keep falling down aimlessly,
the more I try to climb up the further I sink back in.

The more I try not to think, the more I think about it.

I start to worry bout my future,
which university should I go?
after university what should I do?
what if I don't like what I'm doing?

All these thoughts keep me up late at night.

What if I married someone that I don't love?
What if I never get married?
What if I get a divorce?
Will I have children?

What if my dad pass away?
What if my mom pass away?
What if my brother pass away?



I fucking hate this mental torture.
So much thoughts and insecurities.

Everyone is busy with their stuff.
They tried to comfort me, but somehow I feel that they are just humouring me.
I don't want that, I don't need people to say nice stuff like "don't worry", "everything will be fine"

Labels: Thoughts